Ghostbusted

The title of this post is not about the Ghostbusters nor is it about the Mythbusters. It is just me voicing my opinion on certain "ghost shows" that are now on television. A few years back I thought it really sucked that the only time you could really see a show on ghosts was in October. Thank goodness that has changed. Now comes another problem, with so many of these shows going how can you tell what is "authentic" and what is bull? Shyt, I don't know, but what I can do is tell you how I feel about some of those shows and why I feel this way.


Now do I believe in that type of thing? Yes. I have been to the Whaley House in San Diego twice and even though I didn't see anything I did feel the nausea that people speak of while I was in the courtroom, and again outside in the garden area right outside of the courtroom. I do have pictures from there and yes there are orbs in them. Is it dust? No, I don't think so.

Ok, here we go. First up:

Haunted History-

I hate this show, all it is are re-enactments of everything with no actual proof. People saying they saw or heard something, yet NO ONE has any bit evidence to back it up. Not to mention the fact that all the episodes are at least 10 years old. If they show that damn episode about New Orleans one more time... There is one that I get a kick out of where there is this blonde woman knowing that she was going to be on a television show got herself all done up with her hair, make-up, and a new outfit. Looks like she was trying to secure herself a man LOL!
Yooooo! After like, FOREVER Haunted History made a NEW episode. I was like "OH SNAP, REALLY?!" Then I began to think... Sometimes the channel guide will mistakenly mark an old show as "New". They have the original air dates for the old school G.I. Joe cartoon as 2002. What the hell was I watching back in 1985 then?!
Weird Travels-

The intro music creeps you out kinda like the music from "Unsolved Mysteries" did. It gets you set to be scared. The story are a bit scary, but then things get interrupted by this Asian dude that has to sum things up and give you a little something to think about. It's cool though to have the person that actually experienced things to sit in a chair with a dark background and narrate. I've noticed that it's become a trend with the first-hand experienced.

Most Haunted-

I just don't have patience for this one. There's a woman, who I believe is English, and her co-horts that go around to all these places with a night-vision cam and never seem to find anything. She's like a reporter or something with her little microphone. I could be completely wrong with my description, but hell, the show still sucks. They go to locations in England, places that I have never heard of, and just walk around. I think they would do better to explain things a bit more to us over here in the US, so we can at least have a clue of where we are in the episode.

The Unexplained-

This is a show focusing on many strange phenomena, not just ghosts. Once again everything is at least 10 years old, and trying to watch a non high definition show on a high definition channel sucks. Everything is all enlarged and fuzzy looking around the edges. Everything tends to drag on and then they tell you to stay tuned for the "UnEx Report" which gathers together all the evidence and gives you an opinion of things. They say to stay tuned like they are really gonna drop a bombshell on you, so you resist the urge to change the channel to see what their "experts" have to say. This turns out to be either 50/50 believers and nonbelievers or not enough evidence. So basically nothing was accomplished other than wasting your time.

Celebrity Ghost Stories-

Ok, this is a good one. You get to hear celebs talk about the experiences they've had in their lives. I get a kick out of the ones that have a really lame story, but a good bunch of them have some really good tales. Plus, it's nice to look at attractive women, like Laura Prepon ("That 70's Show") while you're listening to their story. It kinda balances things out. One in particular creeped me out real good. It was the one told by the guy that played "Bubba" in "Forrest Gump". The part about the phone call was INSANE, and what made it even more believable was him saying in the beginning that you didn't have to believe him, but he KNEW what he experienced and he knows it was not a dream or made up or anything like that. If you've seen the episode then you know what I'm talking about. If not, set your DVR to record the series. If you don't have a DVR, then why are you here? j/k. Get a DVR and gets to recording.

My Ghost Story-

This show scares the shyt outta me most of the time. These people have experienced some really frightening things, and even though they do re-enactments, it's still scary. It's a plus over "Celebrity Ghost Story" because these people have events that happen in like everyday places like home or work, or on vacation and stuff. With this show there are text "updates" at the end of each person's story like if they still experience things, or if they moved or never returned to a place.

Scariest Places on Earth-

I don't know if this is a normal ghost hunter show or a reality show. You get this back story on a location then later you meet a family that has agreed to go through the place at night. It starts off with them having a little pow-wow with the host at some big bonfire. They have cameras and stuff set up and the people have cameras mounted on themselves and the fact that they have locations where they have to go to and do things like perform a ritual. It seems waaaay to staged. I bet the only thing these places are crawling with are crew members. This show had one saving grace, the narrator. The show was narrated by the woman who played the medium in the "Poltergeist" movies. You know the little old woman who was always saying "Carol Ann, Carol Ann! Don't go into the light!". Yeah, you remember her. She passed away this year I believe. God rest her soul. Well, she was the only reason to watch the show, you wanted hear her and even narrate along with her.

Real Ghost: Caught on Tape (I think)
This show was straight up GARBAGE (pronounced: gaaah'-behj). It questioned whether or not the photos and videos they showed were real or fake. Another show from somewhere between 1997 and 2000. And of course EVERYTHING was fake, very fake. It was like these cats were using Windows '95 to create and animate these images. A dancing skeleton in the cemetery? Funny, it dances just like that dancing baby from a lil while back. The only people I think were fooled by this nonsensical crap died before the Civil War. I've seen more convincing crayon art magnetized to the refrigerator.

Paranormal State and Psychic Children-

The reason I grouped these two together is for one reason: Chip Coffey. He is not the host of neither show, just a psychic individual that shows up from time to time, but he is the man! I know that about 99% of these "mediums" are total b.s., but Chip seems to be one of the most convincing I've seen yet. Even if you don't believe in this stuff Chip will have you going "hmm?" in the back of your mind. I forget who the host is for Psychic Children, but the host of Paranormal State seems to be pretty laid back. He'll talk to the kids that have experienced things and tell them that he understands where they're coming from, and I think he even gives them a bottle of Holy Water. It's cool that he comes back to visit the people after a little while to see how things are going. But, you wanna watch this show, both shows, because of Chip Coffey. He'll be cool and calm one moment, and possessed and cursing people out the next.

World's Scariest Destinations (I think that's the title)-

This series absolutely scared the shyt outta me. Now, believe you me, I try to debunk things when I see them, but this ish is truly convincing. It has it all: the average joe telling the story sitting in a chair with the dark back ground; the update text at the end of each story; back story and history on the locations; NO re-enactments or actors; and the cherry atop the sundae, ACTUAL PROOF! Photos, audio, and video. Some of the things will freak you out to the point where you wish you could just unsee it, kinda like "Glitter", or George A. Romero's "Land of the Dead". It's like "No, I don't want my money back, I just want however much of the movie that my brain retained to be erased. Lobotomy anyone? Anyway when I talk about this show to anyone I get goosebumps. Three things come to mind especially. One is the photograph of the man going up the stairs at some hotel. He looks as real as everyone else but you can see the stairs and rail through his arms and legs. The second was one with some audio of this pool that I believe is on the Queen Mary. There is a man asking questions to an abandoned pool area, and in the EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) recorder you clearly hear a little girl responding to what he's saying. The last one was at the Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana. Now I've heard about this place for a long time and have seen the "Chloe" photograph, but on this show they were filming an area away from the house, some kind of clearing, and you SEE this thing walk, or more like float past the camera. It wasn't a left to right direction either. It came from northwest and traveled southeast. I watched the scene multiple times and clearly make out a head and face and some sort of lantern being carried in it's right hand. Crazy. They need to continue making episodes of this show. If it happens to come on you need to sit down and watch it.

Ghost Adventures-

This sounds like a ride at some theme park, like Pirates of the Caribbean, or some shyt. Now, this is one of my favorites. Not because of the authenticity of things (because there are very few), but these guys are a riot. I do believe that these guys truly do encounter things at time, but most of the time it's b.s. If these guys are avid ghost hunters they should know that a very important rule is "Do not provoke the spirits!", yet you got this guy here, Zak, who's sole mission is to talk shyt to these spirits. That and wear the tightest shirts possible. This guy is like the "Crocodile Hunter" of the paranormal. You're waiting for one of them ghosts to f*** his ass up. There are three of them, the other two are Nick and Aaron, and Aaron seems to be the only one who makes sense. You can tell because he's actually scared most of the time and will turn tail and run like any normal person would. These guys do seem to get a lot on their EVP recorders, and I mean like at EVERY location, and it's funny how they always seem to be able to make out exactly what's being said, no matter how garbled it is. I noticed that when I close my eyes and just listen without reading their subtitles cause of the authenticity of things (because there are very few), but these guys are a riot. I do believe that these guys truly do encounter things at time, but most of the time it's b.s. If these guys are avid ghost hunters they should know that a very important rule is "Do not provoke the spirits!", yet you got this guy here, Zak, who's sole mission is to talk shyt to these spirits. That and wear the tightest shirts possible. This guy is like the "Crocodile Hunter" of the paranormal. You're waiting for one of them ghosts to f*** his ass up. There are three of them, the other two are Nick and Aaron, and Aaron seems to be the only one who makes sense. You can tell because he's actually scared most of the time and will turn tail and run like any normal person would. These guys do seem to get a lot on their EVP recorders, and I mean like at EVERY location, and it's funny how they always seem to be able to make out exactly what's being said, no matter how garbled it is. I noticed that when I close my eyes and just listen without reading their subtitles to what is being said I get something totally different. It's only while I'm reading the subtitles while I hear the recording that I agree with them. They do get a lot of orbs though, and are willing to show you that it is not dust, so I can give them that. But this thing about being locked in one of those properties.... forget that! One time things got so crazy these cats went and jumped out of a second story window! Everyone else must be doing it wrong, cause these guys seem to hit paydirt every time.

Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International-

I saw what South Park did with these guys and thought it was hilarious. In the beginning these guys are always at their "normal" job as plumbers, when they get a call from the hot chick at the office, and suddenly the "Mario Bros." spring into action. They gather up the team, TAPS (Trans Atlantic Paranormal Society. I think it should stand for Two A**holes Pretending to be Scared), and with their fleet of vehicles head out to solve the mystery. I think the Roto Rooter van turns into the TAPS van, or is it the "Mystery Machine"? Anyway, they get to a location, get a tour and a back story, and commence to setting up about 30 cameras that never seem to catch a damn thing. They split up in to teams of two (there's like 7 or 8 of them) and walk around the house asking one another "Did you just hear that?" The only reason I think people watch the show is because the one girl looks like that really hot doctor on "House." Anyway, Mario and Luigi just walk around with their infra-red camera claiming that every rat, cat, and bird is something else. The worst part is right when it looks like something interesting is about to happen or activity seems to pick up, they call it a night. I'm like what the hell?! Now things are starting to happen and you wanna call it quits. Similar to Ghost Adventures, these guys are forever getting knocks, or, and I love this one, their flash light will turn off and on. It seems to me that whatever someone can do off camera (knock) or control via remote (electronics) seems to happen with these guys.
But the horror doesn't stop there people. These guys then analyze all the data, which isn't so bad until they have to ask the other person to check out what they find and call them by name when they're the only two there. Here's a sample:

Persons A and B are sitting at the table going over the audio and visual data;

Person A: Hey, Person B.
Person B: Yes, Person A?
Person A: Check this out, this is the audio from such and such room where they say they hear so and so.
Person B: Hmm, definitely sounds like a such and such.
Person A: Thanks, I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd ask you.
Person B: Good job Person A.

Would you really talk to your friend like this, referring to them by name when you two are the only one's there? How about "Hey man, check this out."?
Anyway though, they get all this evidence with audio, video, pictures, ID, Social Security numbers, signed documentations, STD screenings, and everything, and what do they tell the owner or manager?: There's definitely some activity going on here, but we don't have enough evidence to say it's haunted. But, we would LOVE to come back and investigate again! Douchebags. They make shyt difficult like trying to keep hold of that million dollar wedge on Wheel of Fortune. Speaking of which, what happened to the showcase on that show where you could spend all you're money on furnishings, appliances, and stuff, and take the rest in a gift certificate? They need to bring that back!
Anyway, one time these cats went live with like one of the WWE wrestlers and someone else for like 6 hours! It was like spending an eternity watchin' these cats wander around in the dark, apparently hearing whatever and never catching anything on camera. I think they need to work on some better scams though. The Mario Bros. always hear something that sounds like something way off in the distance, the girls are always getting their hair pulled, someone always sees something peek around a corner, the one guy always takes off running to see what he thought he saw in the darkness, and there's the one guy who manages to debunk EVERYTHING.
Ghost Hunters International sucks as much as the domestic one, just over in the UK.


Shyt, can't think of any more. Bottom line: Chip Coffey is the shyt, watch that really scary one with real proof, and watch the Ghost Adventures cats to see how NOT to communicate with spirits. Tired of typing now, so whaddya want from me?