If I Woulda' Been There: The Walking Dead- Episode 316 "Welcome to the Tombs" (Season 3 Finale) Final Scene

  If I woulda' been there, as if I was able to get up off the couch and walk into my television into the apocalyptic world of AMC's "The Walking Dead", things would have gone a little different. First I would have that omnipotent knowledge of someone watching the show (reading the comics would give me way too much insight), I would be able to come and go as I please.

Rick, The Governor, Merle and Michonne

First thing, when the group breaks into the room where Andrea is when I would join the party. It would be like picking up the second controller and hitting "start." There's Walker Milton dead on the floor and there's Andrea bloody by the door. After all the "jibba-jabba" I would have went over to Andrea, knelt down and begin caressing her head, shaking my own in disapproval. "Tsk, tsk." Then I woulda' shouted "Gimme that got'-damn gun!", while snatching the pistol from her grasp.

Rick points his gun at me and I see Michonne slowly unsheathing the katana.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Rick shouts.

Michonne

"Hold up, hold up, hooooold up!" I say. "You cats gettin' ready to hem me up; lemme tell you what this muthafucka did!" pointing the pistol sideways and accusingly at the Andrea.

"Lemme take you guys back a couple of hours.

While you guys were doing that whole "Let's let the Woodbury army think that we abandoned the prison" deal, the Gov'nuh stabbed up yo' cousin Milton over there and left him to turn so that he could kill Andrea. Now Milton, this dude left a pair of pliers or some shit on the floor near Andrea to help her escape from the chair that she was tied to. While this dude was on the floor dying he TOLD her about the pliers on the floor and how to reach them. Now how come instead of focusing on getting free before Milton turned, this bitch gonna sit here and try to have a fuckin' conversation with the dude?! This muthafucka over here stabbed up and dyin' and she over here tryin' to have a heart-to-heart, and shit, stopping only to fool around with getting a grip on the pliers for a second or two.
Even the muthafucka Milton said to hurry up. I woulda' been like "Bitch, if you don't stop all that talkin' and concentrate on freein' yourself, I'm ma come over there and kill you before I turn!"

Andrea

Walker Milton

Once he stopped responding to her, then she wants to get her shit together and try to escape. By this time this muthafucka over here's fingers start twitchin', he gets up while she only has one hand free, goes over there and bites the shit out of her before she puts him down.

Michonne speaks, "What... why weren't you trying to escape?"

Andrea replies, "I was..."

And I'm like, "Shut-the-fuck-up, no you weren't! You was over there conversatin' and shit!"

Andrea...dumbass

"I just wanted to know..." Andrea says, her voice getting weaker, her breath shallow.

"You wanted to know what? What it's like to be one of them walker muthafuckas outside? Well guess what? You fittin' to find out here real soon!"

Tyrese jumps in, "We can't leave her like this, it ain't right!"

 Ain't right?! What ain't right was this dumb muthafucka here havin' a white moment, wantin' to question everything when she should have been trying to get herself free! I know this is supposed to be some alternate world or some shit, but I know that y'all got horror movies, and y'all what happens when white folks get to procrastinatin' instead of running."

Tyrese and Rick

Rick tries to interject, " Now wait...!" I interrupt him.

"I guarn-ball-bearing-tee if it was Michonne in that chair; when we busted that door down we woulda' found Milton, The Gov'nuh, a couple a' dozen walkers, cats, dogs, fish, birds...EVERYBODY woulda' been dead up in here."
"People like you get people like us, well, like them killed out here!"

"I...just.....just.....wanted....to help......every...." Andrea's voice was getting weaker.

"If you wanted to help you shoulda' stab that walker-head-in-the-fish-tank havin' muthafucka in his other eyeball while he was sleepin'. Woulda' had his ass flippin' out like Elle Driver in a desert trailer."

"How many chances did you have to end all this, Andrea?" says Rick

"Too goddamn many." I quickly respond. "We coulda' had condos in Woodbury if this ignit bitch hadda' gone and done her job! Now everybody dead 'cept for some old folks and some kids, and your bit up ass is layin' there lookin' all stupid and shit!"




"Hey guys, we gotta go." says the chick fused to Tyrese's hip.

"Yeah, let's get the hell up on outta here."

Michonne speaks, "If we leave her like this..."

"That's her own dumb-ass fault! If we had more time I'd strap some roller skates to her fee and watch her walker ass slip and slide all over the muthafuckin' place!"

Rick looks at Andrea and shakes his head.

 Michonne rolls her eyes gets up and heads towards the door, pauses, "I guess that's it."

"Yeah, unless you wanna hang back and split her melon when she turns, or you could pop her jaw off and lop off her limbs, you know, like you do. We could use some more camouflage."

Rick and Lori

Michonne exits and is followed by Tyrese and the other chick. Rick took another telephone call then went picking daisies with Lori. We'll just have to pick his ass up on the way out.